Would others say you have patience? What is it anyway?
Many people today confuse tolerance for genuine patience. That annoying fellow in the office next door, your brother-in-law…right; they require patience. Not really, just a healthy dose of tolerance and occasional tongue biting.
Okay, I view patience as a true virtue. My little German grandmother had it and it was demonstrated through her relentless micro-knitting of a table cloth that relatives nearly threw in the trash after she passed away 45 years ago. A cousin rescued it and cherished it for the sheer appreciation of her effort (12 years of past time labor).
Then, please remember the lady at the four-way stop that motioned you to go ahead although she clearly got to the stop before you…patience. What about the fellow who you have seen in a café whose order was forgotten and then politely allowed the wait staff to correct the problem.
Was that you? What excuse do you have for not having patience? It seems downright silly to honk your horn in traffic where every other person is in the same situation…right? But, we do it anyway.
Recently, I was in a foreign country and was visiting a friend. Suddenly, he flew into a mild rage and shouted, “Look at the time!!! Your plane leaves in 45 minutes and we’re 10 miles from the airport! We have to go now!!!” We jumped in the car and made our way to the nearest freeway…no luck, blocked by traffic…lagged along for 10 minutes all the while with his horn “clearing the road ahead”…by a good ½ car length in 3 blocks! Muttering, cursing and finally banging the steering wheel we finely made it to the airport with 10 minutes to spare.
“How do you stay so cool in this situation?” he asked as we took the suitcases from the trunk.
“Simple, I make it to my flight or I don’t. I still get home eventually.” By the way, the flight was well over an hour late arriving at the departure gate. So, we ate supper, quietly.
So, this is where it gets interesting.
PATIENCE WAS ONE OF THE TWO PRIME ATTRIBUTES OF PEOPLE OVER 100 YEARS OF AGE. The other was having something to sink your teeth into regarding a purpose to live: most popular was living to serve others.
Our reserves of natural patience are generally used up the time we arrive from across town having fought traffic for upwards of an hour. Then, we dive into our favorite cup of “Joe”, adding another factor to our already Low Patience Factor. So, exactly how does this affect our health and well-being?
The first thing to suffer is the potential for Road Rage. With patience frazzled and possibly a poor sleep habit, the chances of irritating others on the road dramatically increases. Today…that’s not a good idea. People do really mean and sometime deadly things to fellow drivers. Next, maintain a good relationship with fellow co-workers can suffer. I personally remember in the 70”s a middle aged office worker in our company who routinely consumed a whole pot of coffee by herself. By eleven o’clock, everyone avoided Brenda…self preservation.
If we go to a job we hate everyday, our health suffers and we also can bring this “war” on our nerves home to the spouse and the kids. People are even known to kick the dog after a hard day. My neighbor’s dog bit him once and that nonsense stopped thereafter.
Families can suffer from lack of patience especially with children. It’s not pleasant when parents hit kids instead of loving them. I once worked at a Home Depot after retirement. One day before Christmas a large, burly man smelling of booze desperately ask for help finding his boy in the store. We immediately launched a “Code Adam” and went into an immediate lockdown. We searched for 45 minutes; with each passing moment hearing the father proclaim what he was going to do to the child when he found him…
Finally, the boy was located hiding under a lumber rack. The father bellowed like a wild moose and charged to that part of the store. He jerked the 6 year old child violently from under the lumber and raised a hand to “Learn Him Something.” I stepped between the boy and his father and gently took the child’s other hand and the free hand of the father. “Please Thank God Right Now That No One Took This Beautiful Gift From You. It’s Christmas tomorrow and you have something to celebrate.” The hand came down, his head bowed and tears fell. He got on one knee and hugged his son. Then he looked up and quietly said, “Thank you.”
The store manager blessed me out for interfering but admitted after the dress-down that he would have done the same thing. I looked at him and said, “He was never going to hit me…I’m his size.”
That was a bit foolhardy but I felt my quiet patience with the man and his son would work a whole lot better that confrontation.
Our health really does depend on what we think and what we feel. Our brains regulate many sites in our bodies which produce hormones and endorphins. In turn, these human chemicals cause various actions to take place. If we fly into a rage at someone, the fight or flight response is activated. In “caveman” times we would either fight or run away. Either way the endorphins were used up in the excitement.
Not so today. These powerful chemicals can cause adverse effects such as high blood pressure, irritability later on and a whole lot of loss of patience for hours thereafter. My friend at the airport had difficulty getting down his meal as we waited them extra hour’s delay…all “nerves”.
So, let’s apply some thoughts to theses “lesson in life”.
Get more sleep.
Drink less coffee when you have gotten “revved up” an hour or two before…traffic
Think before you speak…(Grandma said count to 10)
Avoid judging a “book by its cover”…give a new person in the office time to show their “heart”
Laugh long and loud to old Laurel and Hardy videos…then, calmly close your eyes and let the fun feed your soul… it builds patience
Finally, love someone and always forgive them till there is nothing between you and them but deep trust…and quiet patience.
Be patient and Be Well.
Time Challenger Original Formula has a calming ingredient called Resveratrol.